


Both and Neither

by StixandManny



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Issues, Swearing, character death(sort of), connor's having a bad night, like reaaally bad, ptsd i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:48:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22782790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StixandManny/pseuds/StixandManny
Summary: "I can understand if you decide not to trust me..."Connor wished Hank was here with him, he stood in an old falling apart church full of his own kind. Full of androids, and yet he had never before felt so alone.Markus the android leader's face remained an expressionless mask as he stated. "Our cause is too important. I can't take any risks..."He'd made a crucial error....Uploading memory.Deviancy wasn't transferred to the next unit, it couldn't be..i-it shouldn't be. The conscious can't be transferred along with memories because machines aren't conscious.Yet here he was both machine and deviant... yet some how neither
Comments: 8
Kudos: 116





	Both and Neither

**Author's Note:**

> An au of sorts that explores a slightly different out come to the Markus decides not to trust deviant Connor route. Where the roof top encounter between him and Hankgoes a little differently.

"I can understand if you decide not to trust me..."

Connor wished Hank was here with him, he stood in an old falling apart church full of his own kind. Full of androids, and yet he had never before felt so alone.

Markus the android leader's face remained an expressionless mask as he stated. "Our cause is too important. I can't take any risks..."

He'd made a crucial error.

**...Uploading memory.**

That was odd could he even do that any more? He wasn't sure deviants could upload their memories to other servers. He wasn't even sure he could upload to the CyberLifer server after betraying them and breaking his programming. It must be a response programmed to trigger when his body faced destruction.

 **..Uploading memory...** Connor was staring down the barrel of a gun then. It was his own fault really, he should have known. He should have known that after everything, he wouldn't have been accepted.

BANG!

Red littered his HUD for a fraction of a second then... Nothing.

**...Memory uploading...**

**...Memory upload complete**.  
**Model RK800: CONNOR, serial #313 248 317-58 fully functional.  
Objective: Neutralise deviant leader.**

#58? He could have swore his predecessor was #53. An uncomfortable pressure in his lower back and at the base of his skull and the loud whirring of machines were the first things Connor became aware of, as he blinked his eyes open. Revealing a large dark room, lit only by the dim background lighting that often back lit floors in CyberLife's tower when not currently in use. It was when the white mechanical limbs moving about in front of him started to focus into view he realised just where he was.

The disassembly bay.

His own thirium pump whirred to life as what was happening dawned on him and a new objective blinked to life informing him to escape. The RK800 to his left remain inactive, LED dark, as the one in front was slowly torn limb from limb in front of him. They were being destroyed, his predecessor had betrayed Amanda and now the remaining RK800s were being disassembled.

_"Our cause is too important. I can't take any risks..."_

_BANG!_

**..Uploading memory... UPLOAD CANCELLED**.

That wasn't right... Connor twisted, reaching up to yank the cable from the port at the base of his skull before shifting and griping his hands to the white metal limb holding him in place. That information shouldn't have retained. The last two minutes before shut down was always lost in the transfer, he never retained his predecessor's death. It must have been some kind of systems glitch, though he didn't have time to deal with it now.

The limb holding him jerked forwards and he started pushing harder, shifting his fingers over its surface in the hopes of finding some sort of manual release switch. He and the unit next to him were dragged forwards toward the disassembly machine as the two limbless RK800s in front had their thirium pump regulators torn out. The machine crushing the vital biocomponents before dropping them along with the disassembled androids where the parts were swept away into the disposal shoot.

He fought to free himself, pushing hard against the restraint as he jerked his body to the right. He could hear the polymer creaking around the port the machine was plugged into, a warning popping into view informing him of minor damage to his outer shell. But the hold loosened, only slightly but enough to be noticeable, so he tried again. Using all his weight this time he twisted bodily to the right, an audible crack sounding as he slipped from the limbs hold and tumbled to the floor.

Another warning informed him his outer shell was compromised on his lower back but he dismissed it, the damage could be easily self repaired next time he went into repair mode. The RK800 that had been next to him started to be disassembled as he pushed himself to his feet, making quick work of crossing the room and entering the lift. He straighten his tie and jacket as he selected a floor, he needed to get to the ground floor, but first a quick stop off at the armoury.

This time he would for fill his objective and complete his mission.

Armed with a case containing a sniper rifle, he entered the lift once more entering the third floor as his destination. This lift didn't go all the way to the ground floor so he'd have to switch on the third floor. Two guards stood at attention either side of the lift as the doors pinged open, both turning to see who was exiting, the one on the right questioned. "What business have you walking the tower unaccompanied?"

"I have been issued orders to neutralise the deviant leader." Connor replied, continuing past without so much as a second glance. Though he did use his wireless interfacing on the guards communications headset to tune into the towers security frequency, just in case. He was almost to the lift at the other end of the hall when a transmission came through the line, an order informing that all RK800 models were to be terminated immediately.

Connor took a hard left at a sprint, narrowly avoiding the bullets that sprayed into the wall next to the door he had entered. Someone must have realised one had escaped the disassembly bay. His processors whirred as he pre-constructed numerous escape options, picking out doorways and objects that could be used for cover or even as weapons should need be. He could fight the perusers, a sub objective had appeared suggesting he neutralise the threat, but it conflicted with the programming against harming humans.

Visual sensors noted another guard entering from the hallway to his left, the other two still hot on his heels and his software targeted in on the large wall of tinted glass in front of him. The quickest route out of the tower, and a three story drop was predicted to do little damage, so shielding his arms in front of his face he leapt straight through the three meter pane. Left hand coming down to help steady him as he landed on the pavement below, darting forward across the courtyard as bullets rained after him.

* * *

A gust of wind ruffled his hair as he stepped out onto the rooftop, the deviant protest camped only four hundred yards away. The eight story building had a clear view of the deviant camp, proving the optimal location to set up. Snow was falling lightly from the sky and large CyberLife billboards cast light onto the darkened rooftop as he crossed to its edge. Looking out through the darkness to the hastily made barricade built of benches, old cars, signs and trash cans, he knelt down, opening the weapons case he carried. Inbuilt programs insured he made swift work of assembling the sniper rifle, resting the legs on the roof's railing he lined up his shot.

"You shouldn't do this, Connor." A voice sounded from behind him and he instantly recognised it as Hank's.

"Keep out of this, Lieutenant. It's none of your business." Connor replied, giving a quick glance over his shoulder before focusing on his task once more. He was letting the man distract him, he shouldn't be distracted.

"You're going to kill a man that wants to be free, that is my business." Hank stated from where he stood a couple of meters behind the android.

Is that not what the deviant leader Markus himself did. "It's not a man," He stated, cocking the rifle, "It's a machine."

He- his predecessor wanted to be free, wanted to be someone his partner would be proud of, but Markus took that from him.

"That's what I thought for a long time but I was wrong." Hank spoke again, "Deviant's blood might be a different colour than mine, but their alive."

The man didn't seem to want to go away. "I have a mission to accomplish, Hank. You should go."

He didn't go. Connor could still feel his presence as the seconds ticked by and it caused his stress level to rise by 10%. It was clear Hank threatened to compromise the mission and several orders were already flashing to existence, warning him to remove the threat. He liked Hank, he didn't want to have to harm the man but he couldn't fail his mission. He had already learnt going against Amanda had proven a fatal error and he wasn't about to make that same mistake again.

Perhaps he still had a chance to win back her favour.

"Step away from the ledge!" That was definitely an order, it was apparent the man was not going to step down. Begrudgingly Connor stood, turning to face the man, rifle still held in his hand. Turning to find the lieutenants gun aimed straight for him.

 _I_ _can't take any risks..._

 **..Uploading memory... UPLOAD CANCELLED**.

He would need to run a self diagnostic to search for errors in his software as soon as he had the time because that glitch that kept triggering his memory upload process was starting to become a nuisance. The man stood his ground, still refusing to back off and Connor made sure to keep his optical units trained on the man's eyes and not the gun in his hold. He had to finish his mission, he was running out of time, so running through his options he decided to try and appeal to the man's sentimentality.

Hank had risked his job to bide time so the android could locate Jericho after all, perhaps he could persuade him to stand down now as well. "After all we've been through... I respected you, Hank." He spoke, adjusting the volume of his voice to carry over the wind that had started to pick up, sending the falling flakes into a dazzling flurry. "I thought we were friends!"

"Oh yeah?" Hank started, sarcasm lacing his tone before anger started to take over. "I was just starting to like you too. But then I realised you'll never change! You don't feel emotion, Connor, you fake 'em! You pretended to be my friend, when you don't even know the meaning of the word!"

He was a machine what did the man expect. His LED flickered from blue momentarily as his thirium felt like it was heating in his thirium lines, which was absurd because his diagnostics revealed no issues. "You're right, Hank, I don't feel emotion!" He shouted, a few flecks of red flickered his LED before it settled on yellow. "I mimic them! Maybe that's why deviancy didn't work for me- him- m-my predessessor!" He stuttered as he jumbled his unit with the destroyed previous one.

_Our cause is too important._

This shouldn't be happening. He shouldn't be having so much trouble differentiating the two, Connor #53 was destroyed, he was a replacement. That was what happened when a Connor unit was destroyed, its memory is transferred and another is sent to take its place. He was no more #53 than #53 Connor was the one that was destroyed by the android it was interrogating at the precinct, likewise that its predecessor that plummeted 70 floors in August.

...So why didn't he feel like a completely different unit? Why didn't he feel like an obedient machine with another's memories installed? Why couldn't he just shoot the man in front of him and just focus on completing his mission and proving to Amanda and CyberLifer both that the RK800 model was not a failure. His temple was circling red now as his stress level begun to creep higher. His predecessor had broken its programming and become deviant but that was #53 it wasn't him. Deviancy wasn't transferred to the next unit, it couldn't be..i-it shouldn't be. The conscious can't be transferred along with memories because machines aren't conscious.

Yet here he was both machine and deviant... yet some how neither.

"What the fuck did you just say?" Some of the anger fled the lieutenant's tone as he lowered his gun a little.

 _I can't take any risks..._  
**..Uploading mem- UPLOAD CANCELLED**.

"What do you mean deviancy didn't work?" Hank spoke again, a hit of worry slipping through as he took a cautious step forward. "Wait? What do you mean predecessor? You were killed again. How the fuck did it happen this time?"

"I... It doesn't matter. All that matters is that I complete my mission this time around. No more mistakes." Connor replied, voice a shaken imitation of calm, while his LED continued to pulse through the two warm colours.

Hank was really starting to get fed up with this, as he watched the android tighten its hold on the weapon. Lifting it slightly as he slowly started to turn back towards the ledge Hank had found him perched at when he first arrived. Connor said he'd been destroyed again. His predecessor had been, just like he'd said when Hank had found the fucking thing at his desk the very morning after it had been shot in the head. His predecessor, as if this Connor standing before him wasn't his Connor any more, wasn't the same Connor he'd been working with these past few days.

With all his I's and he's, who was the android trying to convince? Hank or him-bloody-self. The last time a replacement had been sent it had been just as machine like, if not more than the last. Not this one though, he seemed just as shaken and unsure as Connor had after failing to shoot that pretty android back at that bastard Kamski's place. Perhaps with a little more of an identity crisis going on, but other wise not so different.

Hank was sensing the same confused kid, caught between being an obedient machine completing its mission or being something more. But afraid to take a solid step in either direction... and yet he had said deviancy hadn't worked. Hadn't worked how, was the kid really unable to deviate or had deviating gotten him killed? Hank didn't think deviants could come back from death, then again most deviants weren't the dorky doe eyed equivalent of the good damned terminator.

Yet watching the way Connor was here up on the roof, as much as he's talked of completing his mission he doesn't seem like the machine he's always seemed to insist he is. Which is what annoys Hank the most, because it pulls on his fucking emotions. It's what keeps toying with him and making him want to see the kid as more than just a fucking machine. Because if this whole android mess has taught him anything it's that they can be more than just machines.

Which is why even though he knows he should just put a bullet through Connor, because those androids down there deserve their freedom. And he shouldn't risk their entire future just because of some fucking attachment he'd managed to form to an android he hadn't even wanted in the first place. He found himself taking another step forward as he spat out a frustrated.

"God damn it, Connor! Just stop will ya! I'm not done yet!" And to his amazement he did stop, he didn't turn around or drop the gun but he stilled all the same.

"I can't!" Connor forced back and Hank could swear there was a hint of frustration in his tone. "I have to do this, Hank. I already failed Amanda once and it proved a fatal mistake, I can't fail her again. I have to complete my mission."

Amanda? That was a name he couldn't recall hearing before. "Who the fuck is Amanda?"

"Amanda is an artificial intelligence program, also tasked by CyberLife with investigating android deviancy. Though I suspect she has a lot more knowledge on the topic than I am privy to. I report to her, she also offers guidance and advice to help achieve my mission." Connor explained, jaw tightening as he seemed caught between setting his rifle back up and hearing the lieutenant out.

"So what she like your fucking handler or something? Tells you what to do and you run around like an obedient little machine and do her bidding for her." Hanks scoffed back, disgusted by the fact that CyberLife had some AI keeping tabs on Connor's every move. "Fuck Amanda! Fuck Amanda and fuck CyberLife. Jesus Connor, you really are a lost cause if you can't see they are the bad guys here. Those androids down there they just want to be free, to live, is that really so bad. You're one of them for christ sake, don't you want to be free?"

"But I'm not one of them!" Connor shouted back, voice full of emotion this time as he spun back around, LED blinking dangerously and dark brown eyes glistening with tears ready to spill. "I-I'm not one of them, they are not my people, they don't want me!"

He was trembling now, full bodily, as saline flooded his optical units, blurring his view. He felt much like he did then back in the crumbling cathedral surrounded by the eerie glowing LEDs in the shadows. So small and alone and... and scared.

_I can't take any risks..._

**..Uploading mem- UPLOAD CANCELLED.**

_BANG!_

**..Uploading- UPLOAD CANCELLED.**

He hadn't known where he stood then, having just betrayed Amanda, yet unsure if he would be welcomed with the other androids. Only this time it was intensified at least twice over. CyberLife no longer wanted him, no longer trusted him, he wasn't even sure he could win back Amanda's trust any more. The other Androids didn't want him either. No one trusted him. He had thought he at least knew where he stood with Lieutenant Anderson but it would seem they were not on as great a terms as he had managed to lead himself to believe they were.

He had no where to go, no one to turn too, CyberLife had already deemed his model a failure and destroyed all the other units. He didn't want to die but it seemed like the only available outcome. If CyberLife found him he'd be deactivated and destroyed, If he attempted to complete his mission in hopes of appeasing his creators, Hank would shoot him. And if he didn't manage to reduce stress levels which currently sat at an unstable 94% he was very likely to jump from the ledge that he found his eyes darting towards, and end it all himself.

"The RK800 androids have all been destroyed, I'm the last one. I- My predecessor betrayed Amanda, proving the RK800 prototypes a failure. They didn't want me, Hank, the androids... I tried... I couldn't shoot him, Markus, I thought maybe you were right, m-maybe we were on the wrong side. I tried to help them, I tried but it was too late.. H-he, their leader, Markus, h-he shot me." He felt like his processors were failing, his thirium pump, pumping far too fast to be healthy, while his chest plates felt like they were slowly being crushed inwards constricting his pump and all other biocomponants, wires and lines contained inside.

_BANG!_

_I can't take any risks..._

**..Uploading mem- UPLOAD CANCELLED.**

_BANG!_

His surroundings were barely visible through the tears and he hadn't even realised he was no longer holding the sniper rifle until he brought his hands up to the sides of his head. In an attempt to muffle the static feedback that seemed to be screaming inside his audio processor.

"They're going to destroy me! If I can't- If I don't... I'm out of options. I don't want to die, Hank, I don't want to but there's no other choice...t-there's no other..." With all his processors seemingly working in over drive and his visual and audio functions impaired he hadn't notice the other drawing closer until he was suddenly looming just inches away, stress rising another 2% as Connor tried to step back in panic. Only instead of the gun shot he was expecting he found two strong arms wrapping around him, pulling him forward until he was engulfed in warmth and the rhythmic beating of Hank's heart.

Well, jesus fucking christ. If Connor didn't just curve stomp his previous statement and boot it across the frigging block. Because god damn that emotional breakdown sure as hell wasn't CyberLife's state of the art deviant hunting machine. How on earth had the kid managed to go through all of that in just the two freaking days since the two had parted ways at the precinct. He couldn't help but feel a tug on his heart strings as he watched tears spill from Connor's eyes and the pain and fear in his voice as he spoke of betraying his handler only to have the other androids turn on him.

Couldn't help but feel a simmering anger at the so called deviant messiah, so determined to free his people, for putting a bullet in the kid after he had finally found that freedom. Even though part of him could understand why the android leader had done so. The logic behind it, as unfair as it was to Connor. He had lowered his own gun the moment the android dropped his, watching as he broke down in front of him but it was the way the kid's eyes shifted to the edge of the roof, that had him acting. Warm dark brown darting to the eight story drop as he spoke of impending death.

He knew what deviants were capable of when stress was too hight, had witnessed it first hand and he sure as hell was not about to let the kid do something stupid. So dropping his own gun onto the slowly building snow he rushed over to the android, kicking the forgotten rifle away and wrapping his arms around the kid. He pulled Connor into a hug as he tried to calm him.

"Hey, hey come now Connor. What's all this nonsense about, hey, you're okay, you're okay." Damn android had managed to grow on him in the time they'd been partnered, it was good having a partner again. The damn thing was actually starting to give him a reason to want to get out of bed in the mornings and it had been a damned long time since he last felt that.

"Fuck CyberLife and fuck them other androids, you don't need them. You have a place with me, we're partners and I don't mind becoming house mates if you'd like to stay with me. Could use set of hands around the place, to help exercise Sumo and help keep the pantry stocked, I'm always forgetting to restock the thing, and you've seen my idea of food stock." That actually drew a half chuckle from himself, cause lord knew the kid liked bugging him about his eating habits.

"I like having you around kid, and I'm sure Sumo would be glad to see you again too, I think he misses ya." Hank continued, rubbing circles over the other's back as the kid started to calm a little. Leaning back a little to give Connor some space as the android shifted to look up at him with tear stained cheeks and glistening brown eyes.

"S-Sumo?" The android's question barely more than a whisper, but at least he could see hope beginning to return to the kid's eyes.

A small smile made its way across Hanks lips as he said. "The big dope keeps sitting by the kitchen window waiting for you to come back."

"I-I do not want to intrude-" Connor started but Hank wasn't about to let him doubt his way out of the offer.

"Nonsense. I wouldn't offer my home to you if I didn't bloody want you around."

"Thank you, Hank. T-thank you." Aww great the kid was getting choked up again.

"Okay, I think that's enough waterworks for one night, Con. Lets go home."


End file.
